*currently...*
manning the FOC booth rite at this moment... realised over the days, i can't express myself to others very well... will just keep whatever i wanted to say in my mind... if there were a microphone placed near my mind, i'm sure everyone can hear all my tots...
talking supposed to improve communication but somehow, it is not the case for me... mayb writing can help me to express myself better...
tot i will be sad, but now, all i am feeling is numb... no feeling at all... with FOC coming up, at least occupying my mind... if left alone, think time will pass very slowly and miserably... haha... i am actually talking rubbish now...
I had never read the book "5 ppl you would want to meet in heaven", i dun know what is it about... but i did make effort initially, i admit the last 3 months my effort level had went down... but still i did make effort...
it is a bit not fair to overwrite everything just like that, without a second chance... ...
*trapped...*
i feel trapped... gt things to say but somehow stuck within my throat, unable to get it out...
it is turning me into an unhappy person... mayb laughing on the outside but tearing on the inside... need to occupy myself with stuff in order not to think but feels tired in the process... my life is in a mess...
on the way home the other day, there is this sudden surge of sadness within me and tears just started dropping... forced myself to stop them, din wan to scare anyone on train by crying...
feels so alone...
*last day of internship*
not feeling happy at all...
that hurts... :(
am i such a lousy person?
*Lately...*
feels a bit down lately... constantly having this nagging feeling at the back of my head...
it is real disheartening when one is not being appreciated... like whatever u do, is just a pure waste of effort...
then y am i doing so much?
a bit hurting that ppl assumes that u dun care anymore... will then switch into auto-protect mode to shield myself from unnecessary pain...
just another moodswing... no need to read too much into it...
