since i had written that last post, i was unable to slp... thinking about whether i can cope all the stuff that i had mentioned...
i came to one conclusion: I can't...
thus, i made a decision... to drop out from the lab attachment. No doubt i was giving up on a great opportunity, however it would not be fair to those whom i had promised that i will do my best and end up letting them down... i cannot let that happen... somehow, i know i will if i had accept the attachment...
although i am very interested in the attachment, but it is at the bottom of my list of the things that i wanna do now... I really dun wanna to end up like last sem... mentally and physically drained...
even though i was very busy, everyday spending most of my time in sch, doing preparations for the upcoming DnD, having meetings n etc... but i did not feel tired at all... hmmm... mayb a little but i never once wanted to give up like i did for FAP... I am really doing something that i really like... mayb that's y or mayb.... nah... nvm...
mayb the scrapping of the points systems does have its advantages... not as bad as we all tot...
:)
*sigh*
DnD, FOC, Lab attachment, Lect, Tut, pracs, tuition....
How am i going to cope???
Calm on the outside, nervous on the inside...
no confidence @ all...
high expectations from everyone...
stressed level running high...
what if i dun deliver my promise???
Dun wan to be become lifeless...
but...
how how how???
must endure...
regardless how diff it is, endure all the way...
worked prefectly fine up till now...
will it last till the end?
just pray i am able to retain my sanity...
*sigh*
haha... lately the Cupid has been doing his job wor... another couple gt together!!! but............ i cannot reveal who they are... hehehe... *zip up my mouth*
so happy for them!! also glad that they shared their happiness with me wor~ haha... it is occasions like this that really lift up your spirits and your day! hehe... i also feel happier! Dear frens out there, if gt more gd news, must let me know wor! let me share your bliss... hehe... everything seem so colourful, not as dark and gloomy as before... :)
May this period of happiness will continue on and on... heee...
things are starting to look interesting ard here... new frens, new gossips, new to-b-couples... starting to feel a bit happy ard here... not so gloomy...
let's see what will tml brings... *hee*
i dun know what is wrong with me these few days...
suddenly, i will feel angry or irritated out of the sudden! it can also be extreme sadness or bitterness towards every small little thing... i really dun know what triggered it off.... really hated myself for this!
sometimes horrible tots will just flashed past my mind... i would then feel guilty about harhouring such evil tots... just cannot control them...
been pissing ppl off with my unpredicted temper... i apologise... truely sorry... i also dun know why i had become this way...
What is happening to me???
getting ready for sch now... was totally amazed by my stoopidity yest nite! cannot believe i actually did what i did! again!!
can someone just push me off a building...
